You will be more likely to achieve your Power Goals if you eliminate as much negativity from your life as possible. This includes both internal and external negativity.
Internal negativity includes thoughts and feelings you have about yourself that are critical, damaging to your self-esteem, and pessimistic. Be aware of when these types of thoughts and emotions start to creep up and simply expel them from your mind. Through the power of will, you can decide to think positively and stop negative thinking.
External negativity can be more challenging to stop. These are things that other people say to you or express non-verbally that are critical or damaging to your self-esteem. They include such things as hurtful comments from your boss, nagging from your wife, or “teasing” from your friends. If you want to improve your chances of achieving your Power Goals it’s necessary that you shut them down or shut them out.
Shutting them down means standing up to whoever is being critical of you and explaining to them that you aren’t interested in their opinion or that what they are saying is hurtful and that you aren’t going to listen to them anymore. This requires a little bit of backbone, but it is an effective way to shut down naysayers and boost your confidence at the same time.
Still, it’s not always practical. For example, if you are receiving your annual review and your boss is being critical of your job performance, you probably aren’t going to tell him off, at least not if you want to keep your job. In these types of instances, you can shut them out.
Just because somebody has a negative opinion of you or says something mean or nasty to you doesn’t mean that you have to listen to them. Shut them out by not paying attention to what they are saying or letting it roll off you like water off a duck’s back.
Negativity is the enemy of your journey to achieve your Vision Statement and, as a result, needs to be banished from your life in whatever form it takes.
A few common causes of negativity are worth considering:
Unrealistic Expectations. Are you hearing conflicting advice? Are you too focused on what others think of you?
Ego. Does your ego start to take over and decide that you deserve to be in charge?
Obsession. Is there a feeling of being pulled in a million different directions all the time?
On the flip side, you may be the kind of person who is very self-critical. Are you paying attention to all the criticisms you hear or you letting them roll off of you?
Feelings of Self-Judgment. Do you sometimes catch yourself judging yourself?
Are you listening to people criticizing you on the level of your character or just about their opinion?
All these things require some attention. If you’re not taking the time to examine them, they will probably turn into negativity.
“What other people think of me” is a great motivator. But you have to be very careful about how you use this motivator. If you spend all your time listening to what people are saying and what they are thinking, you’ll become completely drained.
Not to mention, you’ll probably be the only person who is negatively affected by this.
The real challenge is having the courage to engage in self-analysis and change your life. Don’t think you can’t do it.
Follow these tips and you’ll be on your way to having a less miserable life and becoming more self-aware. And you’ll get closer to your Vision Statement.